Holidays

so the holidays are here, and with the current situations, i am dreading them more than ever. Normaly the holidays are just a coulpe of months of stress about bills and not having money to by gift for family and (if i have any) friends. But this year comes with a whole new can of worms. First is, that im not sure who if any of my family knows that A and i are getting a divorce. I haven't told anyone bc i am too ashamed. But leave it to my mom to call and rejoice with literally anyone who will stay on the phone long enough. And then there is the whole i'm-obviously-pregnant thing. I try to hide it but try as i might there are just some things that you cannot make disapper. And i do not want to get into that. Mother has informed me that if any one asks she will tell them that it is A's. I wouldn't mind except man that looks almost as bad as saying it belongs to someone i just started seeing! i get knocked up and suddenly want to leave the guy? come on! But i will do my best.
And then there is the new custody issue. A's family is for once going to have a get together on thanksgiving and he wanted Beast to go. I don't mind bc he has every right to want him there and why should he get to be with my side of the family and not A's? But again, mother thinks it is a bad idea and is going to let me know about it all day long. Even tho it really works out better for A to have him while we get everything ready for our dinner, come eat with us, and then for supper, go back to A and see his family. I just don't want to hear it anymore.
I honestly don't think that i will be seeing too much of the famiy this year what with everyone off doing their own thing and not being able to go see Grandma. so i AM thankful for that. Hopefully i can at least keep things quiet until our divorce is final in December. and then there isn't anything anyone can do or say about any of it. i hope. maybe. or it might all just be in my head and nothing will change.
On the prego note, i haven't chosen a dr yet, which i think is making C and my mom nervous. I am officially in week one of the 2nd trimester, and am honestly feeling much better (i think, sometimes its hard to tell). i sleep alot less, but don't feel nearly as tired as i was. Less morning sickness. i cannot eat more that a few bites of anything at a time with out feeling like i have just gorged myself on a 6 course dinner. I am still constantly dehydrated, but at least that is normal for me. The only thing that concerns me at all is that, even with the hardly noticable morning sickness (compared to the last time i was prego) i have continued to lose weight. I went from 170 down to 153 as of this morning. not that i feel bad or anything, its just that if i don't start seeing a definate turn around in the next few weeks, i will definately do something about it. I am going to get a dr, but honestly they don't do anything except tell you you are fine once a month until about month 5/6. then they start all the fun stuff. before that its just a waste of time and money. I know its still there and alive, i can feel it sqwiggle every now and then. and like i said i feel fine, especially compared to last time. Im taking my vitamins and eating well, so there should be no harm in waiting a bit.
Beasty just got over having RSV and a stomach virus for a full week. Poor little guy. He finally went back to school today and i went back to work. Honestly it wasn't a bad little vacation except for him being sick. we spent alot of snuggle time together and i got caught up on some reading. not much sleep for either of us but it wasn't for lack of trying! After all the medicine that he had to have, poor little guy was constipated by then end of things. I was loath to give him his miralax like i normally do bc i didn't want to further dehydrate him, and honestly he hadnt eaten hardly anything so it wasn't too bad at all. we fixed the problem and i think he is feeling 110% better. He was actually excited to go to school today. I think he was tired of my hovering, lol.
He had RSV about this time last year, but i think he got it worse this time. The only good thing was that he actually enjoyed getting his nebulizar treatment. I had them change the medicine to something less scary and less likely to make his little heart explode. And it got to where as soon as the machine kicked on he was dead asleep. And he would actually where the mask this time which helped him get more of the medication in. He is doing so well because of it i think. Last time we had to keep doing the breathing treatments for almost 3 weeks. last night he didn't need it at all. so i think we are done with the whole business. YAY!!!!

Happy Birthday Beast!!!

Today is a monumental day. Today my Beast is 2 years old!!! We had decided not to have a birthday party for him, the reasoning being that he is really still too young to understand and be excited by it and that his class is very young and i couldn't think of anything that would be fun for them to do that wouldn't cost a mint. So i am having cupcakes brought to his daycare and A and i are going to celebrate with just our family. I think we will try to take Beast to a movie, we will probably take him to Mc D's to eat and play. and We will probably go do a bit of shopping for him to get him so winter clothes. I went a little over board with the presents this time but i think that i will save some of it for X-mas. A wanted to go to Enid and do all this there but i really (selfish me) didn't want to spend that much time with him and plus traveling is really just stressful on Beast. and its his day dang it not a chance for A to try and win me back. Which wouldn't work anyway and would probably just make us fight the whole time. SO there it is. Happy Birthday to my baby boy!