Jobs

i am really starting to dislike my job. I work for non-profit and i don't make alot, but that isn;t what bothers me. What bothers me is that everything is literally an act of congress. Everything is so confusing and done in the most difficult way that it can still be accomplished. Everything has a form or six that must be filled out completely and submitted in triplicate. we have no budget to do anything yet they still want the same results that we got when the economy was awesome. its just not going to happen people. and firing everyone isn;t getting you anywhere either, obviously. Nothing can be done with out the regional or national approval yet we run almost completely different than they do and so rarely are we given the ok to do things how they have to be done.
I really wish that i could quit and go back to school. I don't have insurance through my job (missed that boat, stupid me). I could get plenty of finacial aid to help with beast and im not to proud to use PA fo a time so he can go to daycare. But with the little one on the way, i would really like to have some sort of income so that i can be saving it up and getting things ready for her/him. i don't know why i want to go back to school though, because all i really want to be when i grow up is a mom. I want to stay home, be involoved in my kids' life through school and sports and all that. I want to be one of those super moms, where no one can function without her. I want to have a husband that i can take care of and cook and clean for, etc, etc. But that would require that i find a husband that is willing and able to have me stay at home and be a home maker. My last one just wanted a mom and a provider. I was the bread winner and the home maker and all he did was play video games and sleep and go to the gym. and eat. alot.
My new option is wonderful and i think that if i were to get hitched to him he would be the kind of hubs that just wants a wife and mother for his kids, but i not 100% or even 75% sure that that is what he wants or what is going to happen. We talk like it is, but then other times i can tell, he isn't ready to settle down,  forever and ever amen. Which is what i am looking for.
I DO NOT WANT TO GET DIVORCED EVER AGAIN!!! no matter what, no matter how bad it gets (1 it will never be as bad as it was with A, just bc i wont settle for that kind of a guy again and 2, C isn't like that) i will stick it out and do everything in my power to make it work. I will be beautiful, and have a sexy hot body again so that he wont find anything prettier. i will shower and get dressed everyday, i will wear at least miniaml make up and try to keep the ponytails to minimum (weekends and evenings when i am cooking and bathing the kids). I will do my wifely duty by hime (as often as our kids and babysitters allow) i will keep an emaculate house and make wonderful eals and never bitch or complain or nag him. I will even go get fixed so that he wont have to worry about any more "accidents". I will be the best wife any man has ever had and then some, just so that i can have a happy marriage and peaceful home.
Well so i think that i have sufficently goofed off for today, or at least for the morning. I should get back to work and get my presentations done and submitted. Pray for me that my HIV/AIDS class with the high schoolers goes well and that i dont end up humiliating or getting myself in trouble.